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Monday, January 5, 2009

I Survived the Holidays, Surviving Life...not so easy

I kept my holiday expectations on the back burner and just tried to enjoy things.  This year I didn't hand out the usual plates of goodies.  It just wasn't in me.  If stress takes over, the "meaning for the season" walks right out the door.  Simplifying to the basics is sometimes essential to keeping the true Christmas spirit alive.  

I did find time to organize and clean up a few things while the kids were out of school. (Thanks to a husband and kids who are really good at sharing the load. A little too good, because now I'm going through withdrawals.) Ally FINALLY joined Benji in the basement.  She is very content with having her own room--princess domain--whichever you'd like to call it.  Since Kayla's room had a vacancy, Sammie is now Kayla's roommate.  At first it seemed that it wasn't fair if Ally got to move, but then when Kayla got personal reign over the armoire, things got better.  If it's possible to feel "bigger" moving things around then everyone is feeling SO BIG.  Our house even seemed to get bigger.  The basement is no longer Benji's and the monsters' zone...Ally has made it more comfortable to be down there.  I guess she doesn't count as a monster.

The last week or so I've felt a back log of stresses revealing themselves and all of sudden I'm overwhelmed.  I'm trying to get back into the swing of things and it becomes apparent that trying to take care of myself AND everyone else is a full-time, and sometimes, overtime job.  Part-time I could live with, but this "normal" life stuff isn't turning out quite so normal.  It's been said that "if Mommy isn't happy, nobody is happy."    

So why am I babbling so?  Isn't talking to yourself a sort of therapy?  No really, it is good for me to "blog" it out. 

One last thing that came to me this morning...I've been thinking about how I tend to go into "me" mode when I'm stressed in order to cope with life better.  But I realized that taking better care of myself doesn't mean I have to become selfish.  Maybe I just need to respect my personal limits more, while still trying to be the best me.  Becoming selfish leads to pride, service and thinking outside yourself leads to humility.    

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